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April 03, 2005
Catechism (revision 4-28)
As we study lists of words, I sit
and nod whenever you ask a question.
Job-like, the words make sense, almost easier
than English, but not easy to separate
from the left-handedness we share.
William Wilson does not share this, the mirror,
the red faces, the green markers. You color code
arbitrary expressions, like “darse cuenta de”
or “enamorarse de” and question my ethnicity.
The opposing left thumbs twist the table
into M.C.Escher sketches, and I wonder,
who is drawing who?
It is a series of words, or questions
that reflects us, and dissipates prepositional phrases
that we incorporate ourselves. What if,
on the subject, “A pesar de” difficulties,
we separate? What do you think? Are you,
“Esforzarse por”, by dint of, a strengthless talent?
Though you are Salvadorean and I am Mexican,
we are Mexican, combined. Your feral eyes find
that my left-handedness is not the equal match of yours.
Yours is years of Catholic school and answers.
Mine is Catholic school and forgetting Lent.
After studying, we walk under an umbrella built for one.
As we talk, we eat the words with beans and rice.
As we hold the umbrella, we trade hands for a second
and mention salvation before our shoulders become.
As I drive off you stand at the elevator, and hum
a realization of Ana Gabriel, while my cell phone
imitates that Latin beat. You look up,
then press the elevator button with your smaller hand.
Posted by tony at April 3, 2005 11:14 PM
Comments
William Wilson = Poe's short story?
The idea about mirrors, hands, and "who is drawing who?" is nice. The way the poem returns to the idea of hands is interesting and touching (pun intended).
Is this another "confessional" poem that is possibly too personal? Is it the voice? Is it the first person speaker? The only suggestion I can make is to maybe apply another level of filtration to the strong emotions being presented here. I don't normally suggest this, but a little obtuseness might help here. I reserve the right to say this and then post sappy love poems of my own, of course (which I intend to do upon finishing this comment).
Maybe Tony should post a picture of this so-called Salvadorean to go with this one, eh?
Posted by: josh ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.whypop.net/chopshop/nav-commenters.gif)
at April 4, 2005 07:40 AM
This is what Rita Dove calls "fictive" work -- resembling ones life but it is not actually my life. This 'versimillitude' feel is given strength by the fact that I am lying my ass off.
I took a shot at a straight narrative, and kept it as clean as I possibly could, so it is funny that you would say to make it obtuse, Josh; that is what I usually do. I was inspired by Naomi Shihab Nye, who I absolutely love, and who is both terse and simple at the same time (Hemingway!).
William Wilson is an allusion to Poe's story, yes. I wanted to convey a double image of myself superimposed on this supposed person I am referring to, so it could appear as either an alter ego or multiple personality; unfortunately, the dead giveaway was the Salvadorean part, since I am neither Salvadorean nor own an umbrella. Guess I should omit that. Also, the epigraph will be omitted; I was trying to convey a Beatrice/Benedick feel, because of their similarities, but instead came up sounding sappy (I also do love that quote).
No pictures! I have an audition to go to! (Yes, my comments are confessional as well).
Posted by: Anthony Scoggins at April 4, 2005 07:21 PM
in stanza 4 i think that you should change 'forgetting lent' to 'giving up lent'. a "jack catholic" like yourself can appreciate that.
there is a little bit of sentimentality in here. it serves the voice well but overtakes the poem in places. ex.'shoulders become one' that is right on the border of too much. it is a nice image without the 'one'.
i don't know how much of this is "fictive"
Anthony has not stopped smiling and his phone does have a 'salsa beat', it makes me want to dance.
i agree that the M.C. Escher line is good. but when you mentioned the picture the first thing i think of is who is drawing who, maybe it does not need to be stated.
i agree, we need visuals...
Posted by: garth at April 6, 2005 03:50 PM