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October 28, 2004
Commemorative
In the half light of this Sunday
morning, perched in a tree,
disillusionment.
It is 10 oíclock.
The coffee burns in effigy,
last nightís scotch
burns a new hole in.
The leaves burn
and a blackbird picks at
road kill in the street.
You can get Wallace Stevensí
mug on a mug from this place
on the Internet. Can I buy one
for this poem?
Posted by Josh at October 28, 2004 08:46 PM
Comments
By placing Wallace Stevens' name in this poem i get right off your allusion. Sunday morning, The black bird, disillusionment at 10 oclock, etc... BRAVO!
Not to knock anthony because Melancholy Catcher was amazing, but this is a really good poem written about a poet. I really have no constructive comments other than send this baby out and write more like it!
now give us some shitty ones so we can rip them up
Posted by: garth at October 29, 2004 05:39 PM
And now, for the destructive criticism...
...seriously, I wrote alot of notes on your paper that I will give you on Monday, but here it is in a nutshell:
-I enjoy all the allusions to Wallace Stevens, and Garth beat me to the punch (too bad he changed his password, so I can't erase anymore of his poetry,... I mean when the website screwed up) like the tribute to Stevens, and the making fun of meta-poetical poetry (mug on a mug is funny)
-line 7 is inconclusive; in other words, I likee.
-line 5 I am unsure about: "burns in effigy"
ungrammatically correct on purpose? Not sure I get the "in" (but do get effigy in mug idea)
-Nice rhetorical question at the end
-the "road kill" in line 10: is it an allusion as well? If it isn't, it may be a bit much on irony, and a bit vague "in the street"
.... and that's quite a big nutshell. Overall,
funny piece (good work with line breaks).
Posted by: tony at October 30, 2004 10:36 PM
(I am trying to post lots of comments so that I can post more poems, yeah!)
Holy crap! I love this poem! The ending question is just so creative. I think it is a very fitting commemorative to Stevens. So, here is probably the only time I will not be constructively critical...savor the moment!
Posted by: Amanda at November 9, 2004 10:24 PM